(no subject)

[solitary_summer]

I honestly don't know how all those active, energetic people manage.

When I come home form work (which is neither particularly hard or stressful most of the time, and the atmosphere & people are quite pleasant) I'm mentally and physically drained and anti-social to the extreme. Most of the time I just don't have energy left for anything or anyone; my brain feels like a dead weight, useless; I cannot be interesting, intellectual or poetic.

I tend to think it's the utter lack of perspective or intellectual challenge that's so mind-numbing. Then again it's maybe just my lack of self-discipline.

In either case, my respect for my parents or anyone who manages to raise kids (raise, not as in, put them in front of the tv, but actively do something with them.) while working a full-time job has rather risen recently. I certainly couldn't do it. I probably couldn't even maintain a relationship, so it's just as well I don't have one...

.:.:.:.:.

Cooking chocolate cream for my sister's birthday cake and not even permitting myself to lick the spoon is... hard. Masochistic even. But I really don't dare... And scales stopped at below 65 kilos yesterday, so I guess on some level it must be worth it...