life without a plot

I'm feeling a lot better?! Smiles & buying pots of hyacinths? When & how did that happen?

Maybe it's the useless, or in that case not quite so useless, DW/TW meta writing that I love both completely and guiltily. Maybe it's all the belly-dancing practice I'm doing for our show. I've been rather unenthusiastic about it lately, because half of the time I feel it doesn't really fit my inner me (if that makes any sense), but I really enjoy practicing, even the veil choreography that I more or less gave up on last year what with all the stress before and during the move. Or perhaps it's finally getting longer days and more sunshine again, and maybe, just maybe, spring.

Ch. is on holiday, so I was on horse-duty today, and she's looking awful. (The horse, not Ch.) She's been shedding so fast that her new coat hasn't even really grown yet, so it's bits of winter coat and stray long hairs, and almost bald patches. Completely ridiculous. But at least she hasn't been rolling around in the mud this time...


Listened to the new John Barrowman CD in the car, which is kind of meh in the extremely frustrating way that there are a few really nice tracks there (I'd never have thought there'd be a version of Memory that I'd find interesting), but also a lot of rather forgettable ones. The pop-ier stuff IMO is still/again a complete waste of time & talent, and I really don't know why he even keeps doing it. How many cars does a person need? And while I've always loved the The Wizard And I cover, I can't listen to the Doctor Who version. I'm actually kind of offended on behalf of the Ood. *facepalm*

Meh. Yesterday I walked out of the therapist's office a whole lot more depressed than I was when I walked in, which kind of seems to defeat the purpose...


Still not happy, but the whole thing is really too pathetic to publicly whine about. ::posts some music instead:: [ETA: from the Jerry Herman Gala, not a concert bootleg.]

My life isn't a rehearsal. It's a live show. I accept responsibility for my actions, good, bad, mistakes and all, and I go forward. Life's too short to feel guilty about things I should have done or would have done or could have done if only... so no regrets.

- John Barrowman, 2008 -

That sleep-attack-after-coming-home-and-fixing-myself-something-to-eat-and reading-maybe-ten-pages thing? Is apparently becoming a habit. Then got up, blearily, and watched DW The Voyage Of The Damned, which was maybe not perfect, but better IMO than the reviews on amazon suggested, with some lovely touching moments.

Went to see The Lion in Winter (play, not movie version) yesterday with some people from work because M.'s in Berlin and I got her ticket. I hesitate to compare it to the movie version because I haven't seen that in probably ten years or more, so maybe wouldn't like it as much now as I remember liking it, but it has left a strong impression and this version seemed a bit... bland in comparison; lifeless. They tried to superficially modernise it a bit by transferring it into a contemporary world of finance, making it all about shares, holdings and CEOs, which IMO just didn't have such an impact and sounded a bit forced at times. I'm perfectly aware that these days there's probably more power in finance/economy than in actual politics, but it somehow failed to convey the brutal power struggle and dysfunctional family politics adequately. Frankly, I've seen that done with more conviction on Smallville. If one was already spoiled for familiar with the plot, this version simply added nothing new or exciting, but generally lacked passion and failed to touch, and the applause was appropriately polite, even and very brief.



Also got & read John Barrowman's autobiography this week, which was better than I thought it'd be. Oops, sorry. Did I just type that? But while I fangirl as much as the next fangirl, I've stopped buying celebrity biographies a while ago and honestly didn't have too high expectations about the autobiography of someone only just turned 40, dictated into an iPod in between a very busy work schedule. But it has a very personal voice and they (I've no idea if it was John, Carole, or both of them) found an interesting structure, jumping back and forth a bit, going on tangents, etc., so it was never boring; chatty, full of anecdotes (some of which one has heard in interviews over the years, but a lot that were new at least to me, too) and often quite funny, although maybe I should say at this point that JB's sense of humour doesn't really converge with mine, which is very typically Viennese: dark, macabre and morbid. And while it's not the most profound thing ever written, it's not shallow: sincerely emotional, and serious and passionate when dealing with subjects that demand seriousness and passion. And John's energy and enthusiasm are infective even in print.

Oh, and look at the preface: To be honest, here's what I really hope - that by arranging the book in this way, you'll feel as if you and I are lounging in our pyjamas on the couch in my Cardiff living room, sharing a bottle of champagne or a pot of tea, with music on in the background, having a blether and laugh about my life so far.

*g* How's that for seducing your readers?


On a personal note, what really struck me reading this is that of all the authors, artists, musicians, etc. that I've fangirled have made more than a passing impression on my life, JB is by a long, long, - long: *cough* ex-NIN-fan *cough* - way the most positive, most balanced and apparently genuinely happiest person.

( cut for getting a bit personal )

I need longer days, or at the very least less procrastination. (And speaking of which who linked to this game? Pure evil.)

Once upon a time I used to write actual livejournal entries. With words and sentences and actual thinky thoughts and all that. Now... I've actually managed to sort out and upload the photos from Spain, but as for writing a post and filling in the context and all those impressions where I didn't snap a picture... Relegated to the backlog, or more precisely the ever increasing amount of little yellow Notitzzettel documents, along with comments about DW S3, the OotP movie, a long, rambling post about my female identity, or lack thereof, and god knows what else.


(I also need a Doctor Who coffee tea mug; Tardis or Daleks, though? Decisions, decision... Cafepress has Torchwood stuff, but the last time I ordered from them I payed about the same amount for customs as the stuff originally cost, so I'm not doing that again any time soon. Must curb fangirlish urges and be rational. Or at least more rational. Pre-ordered JB's (auto)biography yesterday (*sigh*), even though I'm rather skeptic of biographies written this early in someone's life, when everyone concerned is still alive, kicking and likely to be offended, as they tend to be somewhere between pointless and just not very interesting. Then again, JB, never-ending source of TMI. I guess everyone in his life has learned to put up with it by now...)



It's raining again. It started last Wednesday, let up a bit over the weekend, and now I'm listening to the rain pattering on the trees and window-sill. I wasn't ready to say good-bye to summer yet, and so suddenly. I still want a bit of warmth, not long sleeves and a coat... I went for a walk-with-the-camera yesterday for a few hours in the afternoon, mostly on cemeteries, and took gloomy black and white pictures, because that was all the weather was suited for.


Anyway. Bed & sleep now.

I'm confused? Conflicted? How could I have forgotten that Still was so very awesome?


And what kind of sound system does the latest iMac generation have? Because either my memory is faulty, or years of absence really make the heart grow fonder, or this sounds a lot better than on anything I've played it on before? I never payed any attention to the technobabble about the different versions nin albums are mixed in, because while I may like my technical toys to some extent, a new sound system for a nin cd always seemed too ridiculous to even remotely consider, but damn, i think I might have been missing out.





Still thinking about this ideal image of myself; or more precisely, avoiding to, because the list of things I'd like to change, like to be, is so ridiculously and dishearteningly long...



Also, new layout; less personal, but calm, simply, green and spring-y.



ETA: When fandoms collide: Captain Jack, Giles and Wesley, er, John Barrowman, Anthony Stewart Head and Alexis Denisof. *g*


ETA2: I know less than nothing about CSS [insert fond nostalgic memory about the old S1 system where I was actually able to modify my layout to a limited extent], but I can still google and follow instuctions; and voila, annoying underlines removed from links...