solitary_summer | Entries tagged with alina

Had another dream with Alina in it, this time without the usual tone of bitterness, but with hugging & emotional reconciliation instead.

::sigh:: I don't know what to make of, or do with these dreams.

It's still snowing, and the persistent headache that I've had for the last two days [mostly when I move my head too fast and nothing that two aspirins won't take care of, but irritating nonetheless] is also still here. ~~Also, period.~~

Eh. So much for Sunday.

Current Mood: grumpy

[The entry I was too tired to write yesterday.

# Overslept; I always have the most strange and vivid dreams in that hour or so when I fall asleep again after I've turned off the alarm - or perhaps those are just the dreams that I remember. Part of it was an almost sexual dream about Alina - she turns up so regularly in my dreams, apparently my subconscious mind is trying to prompt me to call her, but while facing the remainders of our friendship might give me closure, I dread it too much, dread meeting a stranger, and being a stranger, dread judgment and not being good enough.

Then this morphed into an adventurish sort of dream, with at least some of the Harry Potter characters (a distorted dream version of them anyway, slightly evil-ish Weasleys); at one point, towards the end, I remember standing there, thinking that this was like some piece of fanfic... ::shakes head::

(Sometimes it scares me how vivid my dreams are, or what this says about the blandness of my life...)

# Can't re-watch Angel S5, at least not right now; I've stopped after one and a half episodes. Of course, even during S1-4 you know how it's going to end, but it's not quite as immediate. But S5... I look at the characters, and I see pain and death, and the meaninglessness of that last stand, and it just depresses me too much for my current state of mind.

# On a slightly related note, cutest couple ever. (Alexis Denisof and Alyson Hannigan).

Also, survived the company Christmas dinner, which was awkward and tedious as usual. Not enough alcohol, and no surprises. Characteristically, the restaurant has pretensions that the quality of the kitchen simply doesn't back up; I don't intend to come off as snobby, I'd gladly have had pizza, it's the attitude that I hate; the quality of the food should come first, not the fancy plates and decorative garnish.]

# Lychees and dates, my comfort food of choice at the moment.

# In an ideal world there would be indestructible cd cases. Oh yes.

Current Music: Freudiana

Wanted to check something, and opening the book found it had a note from A. on the first page... (I remember now, I'd already owned it, but later gave the unsigned copy to a friend.)

Für Nickel. Yours forever, Alina. 12. 6. 94

Ten years ago...

Whatever went wrong between then and now.

Current Mood: sad

Dreamt about A., meeting her again. Suddenly there was this powerful sexual attraction where we just couldn't keep our hands away from each other, and we were asking ourselves whether we'd drifted apart because of that... (Her hair was darker, but otherwise it was really, vividly her, not some dream version.)

[Not true, though, to the best of my knowledge, as far as I'm concerned at least.]

There was more, me trying to escape from somewhere on a ship, swimming, watching it move silently and without lights through the night, but I don't remember much of it. (Except for a brief moment where they wouldn't allow me on board because I had some acidic stuff on my boots, and when I looked down it'd started to eat a hole into them and started to get at my toes... Strange.)

Stupid daylight saving time, btw. It shouldn't be 10 already, this kind of messed up my plans for today...

Current Mood: confused

i keep dreaming about the vacation & Denmark since i came back... these vivid surreal dreams where you just know where you are, even if it doesn't really resemble the actual place, but is merely loosely based experiences....

walking through a park with ? (hazy)

pointing out the island i wanted to travel to on a map...

flowers breaking through the paving of the hallway.... (large bluebells. something else.)

someone hiding in my hotel room.

thunderstorms, rain on the sea...

a ship that changed into a train?

sharks... caught ? with a price tag ?

walking away from the station, looking back at the buildings along the harbour...

[i remember dreaming of a* once in copenhagen... maybe i should try talk to her, after all, if my subconscious mind still keeps bringing her up....]

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life without a plot

Entries tagged with alina

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March 2013

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