(no subject)

::sigh:: Yesterday I had a notice in my post-box for some package to fetch from the post-office, and since as far as I'd remembered I hadn't ordered anything I was kind of confused bordering on the intrigued... Anonymous admirer? Mysterious surprise gift? And it turned out to be large. And from some art gallery in Berlin, and I was even more confused, and more intrigued, until I opened it, and it turned out to be the picture G. told me about having bought on ebay a while ago, which for some reason had been sent to my address. Either I fucked up the last time I payed a purchase for him with my paypal account (although I can't see how), or (in view of our recent situation) this is some weird ploy of staying in contact, or getting to visit me on the pretence of fetching his package. Which means I have to drag the damn thing to work tomorrow so that he can fetch it from there.



So I had to tell him that, in the same e-mail I told him I wasn't, am not, and wouldn't be interested, after he ignored every single thing I said in three emails, sent me one e-mail to say he was hurt, another asking me (no sorry, no nothing) to proof-read his latest manuscript after I'd just explicitly told him that what what ruined our friendship for me back then was how he totally discarded me as a person but thought I was still useful enough to correct his manuscripts, and after I wrote another still too long and too emotionally involved e-mail sent me a one-line reply 'Ich mag dich!!' (I like you!!). I give up. I tried to talk to him, but apparently it's impossible, and I don't know what else to do anymore.

I'm not proud of myself, but apparently it needed to be done. (Anonymously commenting luker? Still out there? Happy now?)



Again with the ::sigh::.

(no subject)

What's been vaguely frustrating for me about all that Torchwood metaing is that I keep thinking that in all this character analysis there should be enough material for fanfic, and why am I so absolutely incapable of writing it?

Sometimes my utter lack of imagination really irritates me. I love the products of other people's imaginations, I enjoy really colourful, out-there stuff, but every time the therapist asks me to even imagine myself in a different situation or something I hit a wall, and I just can't. In all that Torchwood writing I treat the show like I used treat any archaeological or historic source, look at the evidence and see what conclusions can be drawn from it. I can't get into characters' heads from the inside, I can't come up with plots; the only exception to this rule ever was Andromeda, which started with such an intriguing premise and then fell so very short of its promise, and somehow this mixture made the plot bunnies breed even in my head, not that anything except a very short piece ever got finished. And Torchwood intimidates me, because it's just too good, none of those annoying blanks there. I'd really love to be able to write for this show, though. ::sigh::



On a totally unrelated note -- does anyone know a good free program to split mp3s that works with Mac?



I'm probably the last to see this, but it really amused me...