(no subject)

Saturday was passed feeling crappy, shopping for groceries, watering the plants at my parents', still feeling crappy, and not doing much of anything; today was spent in more or less the same manner, except feeling a bit less crappy, and with even less activity, if that is at all possible. Compiled a several pages long word doc. about SV S4 and keep wondering if it's a more embarrassing waste of time to ditch it, because however hard I try to rationalise and make sense of it, S4 is sloppy and inconsistent overall and probably not even worth trying to make sense of, or to spend the additional hour or so to make it actually postable, for no one but me to read. I think my life might just have reached new levels of patheticness.




I feel like I've forgotten how to say the things that matter, and maybe I'm already forgotten how to feel them, or recongnise them. Thoughts and emotions that only ever skim the surface of who I am, and never touch the center. Do I even have one?

It used to be easier.
Or maybe I just thought about it less.