(no subject)

(squee!)

There now is a family of ducks with tiny fluffy baby ducks in each of the smaller fountains... too cute for words, waddling & skipping on the waterlily leaves... I don't know when they hatched, I haven't been running in Schönbrunn all week, but I'm pretty sure they weren't there last weekend. Did I mention tiny & fluffy? Cute?

In other (not-)news, not much of what I planned doing did actually get done this week, and I haven't yet decided whether I should be feeling guilty about it. It feels like I'm running on too low energy, enough to get my ass out of doors for one thing per day, but not much else.

On the other hand I may really have needed the rest, yesterday I actually enjoyed running again, feeling energetic and powerful, rather than just half-forcing my body to cooperate. Not that there isn't a certain kind of satisfaction in that, too, but it's not exactly what I'm striving for. Also found out that apparently I'm apparently running 10 km in 65 mins, though I've no idea whether this is horribly slow or not. I don't want to make a science or competition (if only against myself) of it, which is why I rejected Ch.'s suggestion that I should get a pulse monitor. I'm doing this because I want to get in touch with my body, which is why I don't want this to escalate in a constant battle against it.)


Actually managed to buy some clothes, though the H&M sizes for shirts continue to baffle me.


Occasionally feeling depressed, and damn it, lonely, though the analytical part of me realises this is most likely a side effect of all that pointless tv watching, and its endless variations of the topic love & relationships. The wallowing part of me, however, just wants to... wallow. And be loved.

Note to self, more reading, less tv.

[Speaking of which, however, and at the risk of coming across like a cranky grandmother, but MTV? What. The. Fuck. It's insane. Dismissed? I Want A Famous Face? Gah. Just... NO.]



Stupid and all-too-obvious as it may sound, I need to realise that there isn't a.. switch for my mind/personality, either happy or depressed. There are all kinds of shades and in betweens and I need to realise that if I'm feeling not quite so happy this doesn't have to mean I'm going all the way down again.

Balance. BALANCE. This is important. I need to stop seeing myself in such terms of black and white. Funny really, because I'm much less extreme in my view of the rest of the world...



[Oh and it's watermelon season again. Hm.]