(no subject)

[typed and edited 10-08-2003]


Dark yellow half moon - does this mean the weather is going to change? There was a little rain shower earlier...

The loneliness is catching up with me.

I hate my body, my lack of self-discipline. Too self conscious to put on a swimsuit.

Somehow what little self-confidence I had recently, all the determination to do things, are seeping away, I feel like hiding. Again.



Sat on the balcony for at least half an hour, watching the lightning flash across the night sky non-stop, picking out the shapes of the clouds and mountains in stark silhouette. Always several bolts of lightning almost simultaneously, and it still went on after I'd gone inside, though slightly less intensely. An amazing spectacle, ever seen anything like it before...

Only a muted roll of thunder from the distance and no more rain, but at least the wind picked up a bit.