(no subject)

[solitary_summer]

Depressed and emotional all day, it's apparently not a good thing having time to think. So much comes crashing down again...

Was mad enough to drive out to the horse after it’d stopped sowing in the afternoon, and thankfully got back without an accident, though if I were to be totally honest I even rather enjoyed the challenge of driving on snow covered roads... the problem is just that in the city you can never be sure if the idiot next to you isn’t still driving around on summer tyres and will crash into you, no matter how careful you are. Went for a walk with a very frisky horse that clearly enjoyed it, nose ploughing through knee-deep fluffy snow. I like that one path along the crest of the hill that offers an all-round view... black and white landscape with pale orange hints of sunset where the cloud cover had broken. Skidding down a slope, snow in my boots, but it lightened the mood a bit.

I’ve been starting to read Nietzsche’s ‘Also sprach Zarathustra’ again (third or fourth time, I believe) and maybe with the pressure of 50bookchallenge I’ll even finish it this time. I’m not quite sure why I never managed before... the prose is lovely, but it’s probably that while some things are quite to the point in my opinion, in other places the underlying elitism and arrogance are rather off-putting. And while I don’t usually measure everything I read against 21st century standards of feminism, especially (obviously) when the respective authors come from another time period, some of the things he writes in respect to women I can’t but find extremely irritating.
Why I’m even bringing this up is because one quote kind of relates to what I wrote at the beginning of this post...

Und auch ihr, denen das Leben wilde Arbeit und Unruhe ist: seid ihr nicht sehr müde des Lebens? Seid ihr nicht sehr reif für die Predigt des Todes?
Ihr Alle, denen die wilde Arbeit lieb ist und das Schnelle, Neue, Fremde, - ihr ertragt euch schlecht, euer Fleiss ist Flucht und Wille, sich selber zu vergessen.
Wenn ihr mehr an das Leben glaubtet, würdet ihr weniger euch dem Augenblicke hinwerfen. Aber ihr habt zum Warten nicht Inhalt genug in euch - und selbst zur Faulheit nicht!



B5: 1.20 Babylon Squared

* Very good; one of those episodes that work well (better?) with the knowledge of subsequent events. I liked the way they moved from the deceptively light beginning (Sinclair and Garibaldi playing a joke on a sleepy Ivanova) to the epic scale of what happens on B4 with all the hints and implications of things to come, even if Sinclair is still far from being aware of the full scope of what he’d witnessed or the implications for himself when he leaves the station.
* It never struck me so clearly before that not only G'Kar and Londo, but also Delenn will have come a long way by the end of the story from the haughty member of the Grey Council who dressed down Neroon in ‘Legacies’. I liked her very much in this episode, the arrogance, partly maybe covering her uncertainty, the determination mingled with sadness at what she looses. The human trait of being ruled by passions... I think that’s what draws Delenn, to some extent, it's something she can at least partly relate to.
* Yes, I’ve seen it before, but I still loved the Grey Council ”I stand between the candle and the star.” :: shivers ::... on a more mundane note, they’re trying to promote Delenn up and out of the way, are they?
* Despite all the other themes it's also an episode centred around Sinclair and Garibaldi, from the joke they play on Ivanova in the beginning, totally wordlessly in sync, to both Sinclair's and Garibaldi's visions on B4.
* The zip/fasten conversation... nice touch. And such a guy thing. Liked Garibaldi's line "Yeah! Look, okay, I'm sorry I asked. And you're always so serious all the time. Not every conversation has to be the end of the world as we know it." [Though I keep thinking if you squint hard you might construe some kind of subtext in this conversation.]
* That moment where Sinclair meets himself, Michelangelo style - very intense, and by choosing this specific image one might also pick up the hint about what Sinclair will be (will have been? was? tenses are quite confusing here). Or again when the future Sinclair takes off his helmet. It works, even without the moment of surprise.
* Zathras is a lot less annoying in English than he was in the German version.
* I'm trying to remember, but can't what Sinclair's vision about the fight on B4 (B5?) was about... was this one of the reasons why he avoided Garibaldi when he came back to the station that last time? But never mind; it’s good to have at least some aspects yet to be resolved.


B5: 1.21 The Quality of Mercy

* Didn't quite work for me. The outcome was too predictable ever since the true function of the machine was revealed. Still, it had a few good moments: the doctor's reaction to what she'd done, even after Garibaldi's reassurance. And every time I see Talia being forced again to do something painful to her, I see Lyta how she was in the end when they'd finally pushed her too far. It’s building up...
* The Londo/Lennier storyline was quite sweet.
* I don't know whether to laugh or be very, very squicked. Did (was) both. Um. God. I kind of liked it, though - it's logical to take the alien physiognomy beyond funny noses and eyebrow ridges. Come to think of it, Delenn's transformation might have been more necessary than we thought... Er. Moving on now.

[ETA: oh. OH. I just remembered where that machine will turn up again. oh, fuck]


B5: 1.22 Chrysalis

* Some episodes work extremely well with the knowledge of the whole story, others... not so much. I've no idea really why 'Signs and Portents' (or 'Babylon Squared') did it for me while 'Chrysalis' fell a bit short. In 'S&P' the initial connexion between one almost unconscious, seemingly negligible selfish act and the disastrous chain of consequences was made. The events in 'Chrysalis' were one step further down that road; but the pact with the devil had been made before. Nevertheless both of Londo’s scenes with Morden are very good, showing so many aspects of his characters. "There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. Then you accept it. Or, you kill yourself. Or, you stop looking into mirrors. "
"I didn’t think.." Exactly. He didn’t – and will regret it more than he can ever know now. :: sigh :: Either Londo’s grown careless marooned on the station, out of touch with court intrigue, or he still believes he’d be able to handle Morden and his ‘associates’ when the time comes and the advantages at this point outweigh the possible cost.
* Sinclair and Catherine in the beginning on the sofa. So, so sweet.
* Already knowing that Garibaldi would survive, my brain felt free to go off on tangents like, why (except for plot purposes) didn't the guard shoot to kill? He had the possibility, the training, the weapon, the motivation and a perfect target. Plus, the bad guys shouldn't be *quite* so obviously the bad guys.
* What part does Kosh play in Delenn's decision? What promise?