(no subject)

[solitary_summer]

Thought I'd be leaving in time, just for once, then I managed to smash this potted plant, one of those philodendron things with long vines, which of course then needed to be disentangled, the broken-off vines put in a bucket of water... and it was already 9 am again when I arrived at the stables. Decided to just take the horse out for a walk, faster without having to put the saddle and tack on her and less chilling, too. There wasn't much to be done anyway, with the ground frozen like that.

Cold, but very, very beautiful, hazy sun still low at 9:30, slanting through the trees, casting everything in a pale golden light, giving her coat a reddish sheen. Earth frozen bone-hard, in places white with frost, hooves ringing; long grass on the hill, bleached almost to white, slightly swaying in the wind.

Fortunately only three hours of work; the prospect of Thursday to Saturday pitches me into a fit of depression anyway. To be honest though, so far the Christmas season hasn't been quite as horrible as I expected it to be. Either I'm just getting used to it, or I'm generally more balanced this year and less inclined to make things needlessly stressful for myself by taking everything too personal. My mantra this year - if we've run out of certain books, it's neither my fault, nor my problem. Should be self-understood, but I used to feel personally responsible if I had to disappoint customers.

Only two weeks to go.

But to be confronted day after day not only with the average unavoidable dose of Christmas madness... It's near impossible to see our customers as individual people, who all celebrate their own Christmas, who maybe do consider the gifts they buy; what gets driven home is the equation of Christmas with money, emphasised further by our boss's insistence on the importance of a good Christmas season. Combined with the stress it tends to put you off the holiday generally. I haven't bought presents for anyone yet, because I'm simply too disgusted to enter a store.
I'm not really in a position to moralise about the crass materialism of Christmas though, because after two years of 'woe is me, I'm so depressed, I don't want or need anything' I've put a DVD player and the Babylon 5 DVDs on my wish list, and am already rather looking forward to re-acquainting myself with the early seasons. Nevertheless the mixture of commercials, shopping-tips, economic statistics, and reports about the importance of Christmas shopping for the economy you get from the media is - unsettling; a bit sickening. The way it's made out to be it's almost a civic duty to shop as much as possible. And at the same time only a few days ago I was reading again how more and more young people are in debt. We're living in a system that relies on us buying more and more useless crap. Maybe I'm naive, but that scares me.


Re-potted the plant, it's still looking a little bedraggled, but I hope it'll survive - it's not very pretty, especially as it just lost quite a few leaves, but it's the only one that I haven't managed to kill yet and I'm kind of attached to it. It goes way back, too; the original, as family legend has it, was brought home by me when they distributed the plants from our class-room after our final year of primary school.

Still in the process of tidying up the apartment, because I'm having the yearly maintenance of my hot-water heater tomorrow and my father is coming over to let the guy in, seeing as I'll be working.


:: sigh :: This wasn't really the entry I wanted to write, either... notepad is getting very cluttered up.

Comments

[un-crayon-rouge.livejournal.com]

Ok, I hope you don't think I'm trespassing here. I'd just really like to give you something for Christmas, say, the Babylon 5 season of your choice. So, if you give me your adress, I could just buy it off amazon or something and send it to you.

This, of course, does not imply that you have to give me anything, or even have to accept. I just love giving things to people, when I know they will enjoy them, and even more when I have already enjoyed them myself. As a proud owner of Baylon 5's first three seasons, I think *everyone* should have them.

So, what do you think? If you agree and don't want to put your adress on LJ, send it to me here: soavezefiretto@hotmail.com. If you don't, I won't feel offended. I feel somewhat stupid, but giving someone who really wants it a B5 season? That's too good a chance!!

[solitary-summer.livejournal.com]

Not trespassing at all... I'm just really totally overwhelmed here. You're amazing.

I'd gladly accept your offer [is there anything you'd like?? do you have an amazon wish-list? or, if this isn't too presumptuous, is there any of my artwork you might want?] - the only problem is, I told my mother and sister a couple of weeks ago, and I'm not sure whether or not they have bought anything yet...

[un-crayon-rouge.livejournal.com]

Hm, I don't suppose there's a way you could lure it out of them, is there? I mean, there are 3 seasons out on DVD, if somehow your mother, sister and me could agree to buy you each one, wouldn't that be perfect? Or you could just tell me what you want, something you're *sure* no one else would get you. I like giving presents so much!!

About my wishes... see my most recent entry. I do have wish-lists, both german and british, on my links-list, but you know (or at least I hope you know) my offer didn't imply anything of the sort,as in "I'll get you something if you get me something".

About your artwork, though - wow, I can't tell you how much I'd love one of those beautiful pieces of yours. ::goes to website, stares, and sighs:: But I couldn't ask you to part with any of them. Besides, what if it should break on the trip?? Maybe I'll get the chance to at least see some of your work *live*, as it were, whenever I'm next in Vienna, visiting the relatives. Do you show it in any art-gallery I could go to?

Hey, I just had a brilliant idea: if you can't tell me sooner, you have your "Bescherung" on 24th or 25th, then you tell me what you got, and then I can give you something for "Reyes" (die heiligen drei Könige), on January 6th, as is traditional here in Spain. Deal?

[solitary-summer.livejournal.com]

I'll try to find out...

about the artwork, though... well, there are some pieces I'd maybe be a bit reluctant to give away, but just tell me which one (if any) you'd like and we'll see... or you could have a look whenever you're here, the photos are not so very good in some cases.

um, art gallery? I have some of my favourite pieces at my apartment, the rest at my parents' place.

:: sigh :: I feel so bit, fake, dishonest, talking about them - I haven't done anything in ages. can't even bring myself to glaze the fruit bowl I've promised my sister for ages.

[solitary-summer.livejournal.com]

ahem. well, in case you still want to, season 3 would still be free for the taking... no offence though, if you've changed your mind.

[ and, :: cough ::, btw, your German wishlist doesn't quite work... it says you haven't entered an address yet where to ship the books... ]

[un-crayon-rouge.livejournal.com]

GREAT!! You'll get "Severed dreams" and War Without End" and "Z'ha'dum", and *I* will give them to you!!! ::does silly dance and shouts hooray, hooray:: I've looked around your LJ and there doesn't seem to be a wishlist. If there is and I haven't been able to locate it (which is perfectly plausible, I manage to be incredibly dumb sometimes), please direct me to it for shipping adress and whatnot. Or just write me your snail mail to said hotmail account. and tell everyone else you'r already getting season 3, kindly to lookk around for other gifts! Ätsch! ::does happy dance again::

Ahem, tjaaaa, what can I say, my heart wasn't quite in those wishlists in the first place... will correct, though. Which STILL doesn't mean you have to get me anything. I'm doing this because I like you jand your ournal, and like giving gifts, and besides I like to pretend I'm very rich. Maybe if I pretend long enough some day, he.