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# Feeling rather better, I hope it'll last. Had a pretty intense 4 hrs. Tai Chi fan workshop today, so for once I at least know why I'm so tired. I really need to sign up for classes again next semester, I hadn't realised how much I missed it.

(# Still can't seem to get rid of the mental sluggishness, inarticulateness, and massive writer's block, though.)

# Did very, very little last week (other than going to work, obviously/unavoidably). I was a bit tempted to start rewatching B5 or Angel as fanish comfort food, but the thought of 5 seasons à 23 episodes is a bit intimidating. That's 86 hours per show, and while somehow that never was an issue before, at the moment I feel irrationally guilty investing that much time in a TV show when I'm not even watching it for meta-writing purposes.

Rewatched the Hair movie, which has been my fandom-of-one for ages, and I although I keep expecting that perception to change every time, I still think it makes a lot more sense on the assumption that Berger is in love with Claude. Or as I put it years ago, Berger uses Sheila to get closer to Claude, Sheila uses Claude to get close to Berger, and Claude, poor boy, is confused until it's too late. It doesn't help that post-Brokeback Mountain movie Claude reminds of of Ennis quite a bit. (Old picspam.)

Also rewatched Velvet Goldmine, another long-time favourite. I saw it quite a few times in the theatre back when (upon checking imdb... holy shit, that was thirteen years ago? Thirteen?!), but I still can't quite put my finger on what exactly the fascination/attraction is. I don't think it's about having been a huge Bowie fan myself as a teenager, because it certainly isn't a flattering portrait, even without the downright cruel caricature of Bowie's 80ies incarnation, and I'm not the least bit surprised he refused to give them the rights for his songs, if that was the script he saw. Also, JRM's portrayal is a bit lacking in charisma IMO, unless that often slightly vacant expression is a deliberate acting choice, which does seem a possibility. I guess it might be because in the end that movie is very much about the experience of being a fan, on several levels. All the enthusiasm, fantasies, embarrassment, projection, nostalgia, but also frustration and disillusionment... they're certainly present on a Watsonian level, with Arthur as the narrator of the story (and Christian Bale's performance is fantastic), but to me they also seem to very much influence the creation of the film on a Doylist level. It starts out as a... is there such a thing as a film à clef? but then with the Brian Slade/Curt Wilde love-story veers off into (essentially) fantasy RPF territory, while at the same time at least implicitly critiquing Bowie for using/exploiting homo/bisexuality/gay culture as a career move and then renouncing it when it was no longer convenient... It's a more complex movie than it might seem at first glance.

Finally watched Mine All Mine (that's the one where GDL is also Ianto Yanto Jones), which has been on my hd for ages, all six episodes in one evening, because once I started I couldn't stop. I think what most impressed me was the end. The overall tone is fairly light/comedic despite some darker undercurrents, so I expected a resolution on that note. And the further the least episode progressed, the more I wondered how they were going to get around the poisoned eggs, the de- and re-frosted hamburger meat, and bottle of poison on the spice rack in... ten... nine... clock's ticking!... five... minutes. And then they make mayonnaise, hamburgers, Val decides to poison Max after all, and as everyone sits down to eat, fade to black, the end. Schoedinger's family. Brilliant.

 

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Also, I am so boring. But I found new ones for € 85.00 on amazon, and since my old boots are already pretty shabby — beginning to fall apart, actually, there's a hole in the left one — I bought them. Although the thought crossed my mind that since I'm going to turn 40 this year I should perhaps finally get more, er, grown-up, 'serious' shoes? (It's probably already a sign of getting older that I kind of shudder at the thought of having to break them in now...)