(no subject)

Fell asleep, book, contacts, lights on.
Woke up at about midnight, too tired to do anything but go straight back to sleep again.
Woke up again at 3 am, somewhat more awake, removed the contacts, brushed teeth etc.
[Turned on the computer for no reason, checked livejournal and noticed someone had friended me. This morning that person had disappeared again. *blinks* I'd say I'd been imagining the whole thing, if the user-info url weren't stored on my browser's history; must be about the fastest friending/defriending in the history of livejournal.]

Went back to sleep again and dreamt that I was moving into a house by the sea, which would have been wonderful, except that I was apparently moving in there with my family, which was... not so good, in a claustrophobic, scary way. And then suddenly there were all those other people, looking like they'd come straight from some gloomy, severe (scandinavian? but why?) painting, or play... Strange.

However, the landscape and view were beautiful, I could hear the waves breaking on the shore, and there were seals, too..


[ETA: Lacking an English grammar, a question to the native speakers: is 'dreamed' or 'dreamt' the correct form, or are both acceptable? Is this another UK/US thing? For some reason I'm leaning towards 'dreamt', but lj spell-check doesn't recognise it...]

(no subject)

It's amazing how my father can still off-handedly destroy my sketchy self-confidence and balance, probably out of sheer thoughtlessness, without even meaning to.

And there I am, always feeling guilty when I can't be as kind and affectionate towards him as I'd like to be. No more, though. No more.

.:.:.:.

[TM diaries]

Der Traum ist im Grunde nicht von schlechterer Substanz, als das wirkliche Erlebnis, das sich auch abschwächt und verfliegt, in die Vergangenheit sinkt u. auch nur noch Traum ist. (3. 2. 52)

Strange. Sad, too. Not true, I'd like to hope. Though recently when my memory kept bringing up dream fragments and fragments of real memories indifferently, I was in fact wondering whether my mind made any distinction at all between them.