(no subject)

lj has gone all german on me. irritating.


hmpf. i can't seem to get comfortable in this place, metaphorically speaking. my dj is this dark, cosy, if slightly tacky, corner where a few people who've already seen me at my worst and don't seem to mind, will tolerantly listen to me rant & whine. this journal is rather like hearing your own voice echoing through some big and empty place, much more polished and formal and rather clinically clean. i feel slightly lost, if that's at all possible or rational, and more exposed, even if my counter tells me i'm not.

i thought i'd use this account for discussions, but really find myself still reluctant to post in other people's journals or even to friend the fanish journals i check regularly. for one i feel slightly stupid and unsure about the social niceties when barging into a community i'm not part of, for another thing i'd have to seriously give thought to what i can say in this journal and still be socially polite, how to say it... so far writing for an audience hasn't been a priority.


though i certainly seem to develop some kind of journal-related neurosis. posted and subsequently deleted entires on an iraqi boyband (not kidding) and the brainless display of vanity that is our minister of finance's personal homepage, complete with childhood pictures and the option to ask for an autographed card (again, not kidding, though i wish i were), because two entries in a row solely devoted to snarking at something seemed just... wrong. not good for karma, not that i really believe in that.

.:@:..:@:..:@.:.

yesterday's buffy... :: sigh :: i probably shouldn't enjoy that as much as i do, at least parts of it. (others, like the *gasp*, it's the Fist Evil ™ ! revelation, not so much,) Spike/Buffy is one of the few het relationships (if you can even call it a relationship) on tv that i find myself both interested in and actually caring about... they've certainly had some lovely moments during this season and the last.

although i still don't like the concept of a soul as a commodity that can be acquired and lost, forfeited and rewarded, even in a metaphorical sense, because even then it draws ethical lines i'm not really prepared to accept exist....

.:@:..:@:..:@.:.

::nostalgic :: i really need to talk my sister into going to see 'elisabeth' with me, when they revive it this autumn...