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# Real life. (Blah.)

I was planning to go for a walk today, but then I slept until 10-ish, breakfasted and wasted time on the internet, practiced Excel, had a bit of lunch, half-heartely thought about where I might go, couldn't decide, and ultimately decided that I needed a lazy stay-at-home day after last weekend's stress.

Also decided I'll do the ECDL certificate after all, since I've already done the Excel and Access classes and can learn the rest from books, and will probably do a HTML/CSS class in September, since I've always vaguely wanted to learn that from a scratch and be able to do more than just type a few basic codes... So there I was, feeling unusually active and hopeful, until I randomly browsed through job adds a couple of days ago and pretty much ended up thinking, why even bother, I can just kill myself now, because I'll never be qualified for, or do anything other than retail. Stupid, pessimistic, mood-swingy brain. But maybe it is right, after all?

What also irritates me is that I've done barely any reading at all recently, mostly because when I'm reading it's Lukianenko's NIght Watch series in Russian, and for obvious reasons that takes up a disproportionate amount of time. It's kind of fascinating, though. )

# Various media stuff:

* Saw Thor with G., and, just, gah. Either it's because I'm not familiar with the (comic book) source, or I'm simply getting too old for these kind of movies, but I found it almost insultingly bad. The worst thing was, it was actually my idea to see it, because I was a huge fan of Kenneth Branagh a longish while ago, and... )

* Stuck about two thirds into Smallville S6... Lj tells me it's been over three years since I watched S5, but in many ways it's as if I never left at all... )

One of these days I'm going to write something rambly about the whole identifying-with-characters issue. Because I honestly have no idea why I always fall for the characters I fall for, who, as a rule, have nothing whatsoever in common with me, at least as far as I can make out.

# Also watched RTD's Dark Season (1991) and Century Falls (1993). They're both a bit too children orientated for my taste, and the stories are nothing much (although they both do have their moments), but I enjoyed Dark Season especially. It's a bit DW-ish, and the characters are just thoroughly enjoyable. There's a young Kate Winslet as Reet, and the girl playing Marcy just radiates a certain Doctor-ness. Which is probably more due to RTD writing her, but I could so see her as a female Doctor. Actually, I'm going to pretend she's a Time Lord now. Miss Maitland, exasperated and torn between believing and not believing is also a rather lovely character.

Wherever you are, whoever you are, there's always a strangeness in things. )

(The whole thing also dates like whoa, but that can't be helped with a story from the early 1990ies involving computers. In 1991 I think I actually still typed my proseminar papers on a type writer...)

Century Falls sort of gives the impression that it's trying to get somewhere more ambitious and dramatic, without quite succeeding (yet), but it also has its moments, all those old ladies, and generally speaking enough female characters to pass half a dozen Bechdel tests...

* Somehow, I'm still watching A Game of Thrones. I don't know... there's still stuff I'm not too happy with and I'm not even particularly interested in all the political scheming and violence, but the characters have definitely drawn me in, and even more than that I want to know more about the mythology of it all, the dragons, the Wall, the White Walkers, and the winter, which they keep hinting at. (Also, although that is nothing new, I'm really, really bad at recognising actors. I eventually, and perhaps not entirely coincidentally when he started talking about cannibalism, recognised the actor who played the guy from the cannibal village in Countycide, but I didn't recognise Aiden Gillen at all... Imdb tells me Sibel Kekilli is also in there, but who is Shae?

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Another quote from RTD's book —

To be honest, I have trouble with 'escapism' full stop. It's usually a derogatory term. Or condescending. At best, cute. [...] It makes the pastime, whether it's a hobby or a job, seem tiny and silly, when it's a vital part of your life. [...] Writing is actually my way of engaging with the world, not escaping from it.

Now admittedly unlike him I'm not making a living out of my (not-)escapism, so maybe I have something less of an argument there, but I do agree with this on several levels.

Reality (or not), art, writing; TV, storytelling and metaphysics; Andromeda, Smallville, Firefly and Bush-ite America. Broadly generalising and meandering without really going anywhere. )

Also... The Surinam toad and its reproductive habits. The things you learn on the internetz...
Half an hour later. Um. Note to self. Don't start watching animal videos on YouTube.

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Oh dear. So I'm watching videos from Dragon Con on YouTube, and, quote, Michael Rosenbaum on the subject of the actors apparently not being told anything on Smallville:

'There's this giant through line, throughout seven years, for the show. And they go, okay so this is what's gonna happen. Lex will become bad. But right now he's not. Ookaay. So, I mean when I just killed this guy, did I mean to do it? Do I feel bad? - Ah, just, you're doing great, just keep doing it. Whatever you're doing, just keep doing that.'

This explains so, SO much.

And here I was trying and trying to make sense of that show and its characterisation for years before I stopped watching around S5ish, if I remember correctly. ::facepalm::

[ETA: Interesting, and IMO spot on comment from James Marsters about Lex's arc being the only element with genuine gravitas among the monsters and general fluffiness of SV.]

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Drained, dull and tired and I haven't seen the sun in I don't even remember how long. Christmas was an uneventful and drama-free family thing not really worth talking about.

Finished SV S5 which despite everything seemed a little less... better seems a rather inappropriate choice of word considering the general lack of quality, but at least a bit less far-fetched and absurd than Lana-the-teenage-witch S4. Just how much will I regret buying the next season? Damn you, cliffhanger-ending. And Michael Rosenbaum. And maybe not quite in that order.

And because I'm procrastinating and a bit tired and should really be sleeping, the first-sentence-of-the-first-post-of-each-month 2007 review meme:

January: (6th) ::sigh:: I might start doing a-day-in-the-life picture posts next, because my ability and inclination to write are next to non-existent at the moment. [Quickly to become this year's leitmotif.]

[also:] Had a lovely New Year with [ profile] soavezefiretto [...] [ :) ]

February: (1st) When I walked from the shop to the bank at 5 pm, the sky was still light. [And, god, am I looking forward to that again already. Sun. Light. Sunlight instead of fog & clouds and early darkness.]

March: (5th) There's some kind of mental block that keeps me from writing, I swear. [And again with the leitmotif.]

April: (1st) First day of really getting acquainted with the new camera, feeling very, very dumb, although I probably looked a lot cooler than with the Powershot regardless. [I can't believe it's only been nine months. I really feel I've learned a lot in this time, even if I'm still fumbling around in many ways, but photography has definitely become much more important and I like to kid myself that I've actually got better, too.]

May: (1st) Meh. Not in a happy place. Work yesterday was predictably depressing after a free week and really reminded me that I ought to make some effort to find a job that's a little more challenging [Right. Riiiight. ::sarcastic laughter with a slight desperate edge::]

June: (3rd) I don't know what I'd do if I had a job that was actually taxing and stressful. [Whine. Rinse, repeat. Ad bloody nauseam.]

July: (4th) Meh. [ profile] pixelwhores (which I'm absolutely pimping here to all the photographers on my f-list, btw) is taking over my livejournal. [For a couple of weeks. So much for attention-span and dedication. No wonder my life is what it is.]

August: (4th) urlaubsreif.... [holiday going-away picturepost]

September: (1st) Aunt's birthday cake finished, albeit a minimalist, done-a-hundred-times version. [Moderately significant, since I'm really glad that my aunt and I are on speaking terms again.]

October: (1st) Er. Still alive... [another picturepost] [That's H. in the picture, btw. so, again, not entirely random.]

November: (17th) The complete writer's block has a lot to do, I think, with the newly discovered fact that I really don't like myself. I don't like to look at myself (metaphorically more than literally), I don't want to think too hard about myself, probably afraid of what I'll find there. [From a lengthy private post. The sentiment is still true.]

December: (2nd) We had the first day of baking Christmas cookies today, which turned out to be more agreeable than I'd thought when I got up in the morning, fairly groaning at the prospect of roughly a million Vanillekipferln (My sister's boyfriend loves them. Very much.) and unable to find a good reason for going through with this year after year, especially when the sky was blue, the sun shining, and I'd maybe have preferred to go out for a walk with my camera. [I'm not happy with the last quarter of 2007 especially. Or, more precisely, with myself during that time.]
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Since my life is emminently boring and unpostworthy at the moment I unearthed this from my documents folder.

Collected SV S4 ramblings, all in one handy, very much tl;dr post, and dear god, did it ever feel redundant writing this more than a year after the season has been talked and (presumably) bewhined (which I still think should be a word) to death everywhere else …

Also, my life would be so much easier and generally less pathetic if I could just shrug and say the writers are on crack/suck/hate me, like everyone else, instead of obsessively trying to make sense of everything and anything.

[Linked for personal reference: last year's S3 review]

::sigh:: assorted comments )

::more sigh:: Lex's arc )

And will I buy S5? Sadly, yes.

solitary_summer: (ship (© clive barker))


Just finished SV S4 and, dear god, am I depressed now. In the 'Draco Malfoy is a poor, horribly misunderstood (possibly abused) saint in leather pants and JKR is an evil, evil bitch' way. Except that the SV writers gave us a little more reason to become emotionally invested in Lex. More whining about that possibly likely to follow.

And the quest for an intelligent entry continues. If it weren't so hot and I didn't feel so under the weather (pun intended) I could at least go out & take pictures & pretend I have something worth saying/showing...
solitary_summer: (candy 2 (© clive barker))

* Whee! Present from [ profile] soavezefiretto! ::smooches:: It's a gorgeous red, orange and yellow glass sun, and it's hanging from the shelf above my desk now, slightly behind and to the right of my computer, to remind me of, and inspire, good, sunshine-y thoughts.

* The heat. The heat. Sultry, wet heat, the horse was driven crazy by insects, and I was insane enough to venture outside and buy sandals (the trekking type, except a little more pretty and less trekk-y, but adjustable straps are a necessity for my stupid duck feet.). Constantly covered in sweat.

* Watched another two episodes of SV, ca. middle of the season, and, what? Marriage is sacred! Sex before 18 is often regetted! One night stands are bad, bad, bad, and a sure sign of more evil to come! What's next, abstinence only? Now everyone who's read my journal for any length of time knows my sex life is confused and pathetically nonexistant, so it's not exactly a personal issue, but to each his/her own, and the level of preachiness here is almost breaking the fourth wall. I didn't think S4 started all that badly, I liked Lois, who was a much needed fresh breath, but it's becoming increasingly cracktastic (and not really in a good way) and just generally erratic...

::racks brain for a single semi-intelligent thought::

And I don't have anything witty and/or (thought)provoking to say about The Bush Visit either; since I didn't work today, i wasn't even in the vicinity.

::gives up & blames stupidity on the heat::

I did mention the heat, right?
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Wanted, with some desperation: a tv show that I can fangirl without blushing. Because right now, I'm marathon-watching Smallville, without too much internal snark even, and what that says about the state of my mind I don't want to know...


[ETA: So Lionel is possessed by Clark's spirit for a couple of days and immediately sees the light, is redeemed and becomes the good guy all of a sudden, while Lex, who is trying so hard, struggling every damn day and getting rejected all the time, is evil incarnate because of a few one night stands, and this is supposed to be fair in the pretty self-righteous world of Smallville? ::gag:: Because a woman -- any woman -- is obviously incapable of wanting no-strings-attached sex, they all expect love and marriage and romance, even if they randomly jump into bed with famous person X, and their lives are OMG! ruined forever and ever and they must turn into murderous psycho stalkers when they don't get that, but a pair of pricey diamond earrings instead. ::headdesk::]
solitary_summer: (irina cowgirl)

Once in a while even I have to make one of those fangirlish squeeful posts, because SV S4 Devoted? So very ::squee:: And aw!, and heartbreak, and wanting to smack Clark (Seriously, would it kill him not to ask Lex something do for him immediately post-reconciliation? God. It's really kind of disgusting.), but that last isn't exactly new. Not that I believe things are going to be all right even for a very long while, but Lex basically asking Clark to come back to him forgive him in a locker-room full of football players is rather priceless. A sad, really kind of heartbreaking scene (Are there any limits to how much Clark is able to misunderstand Lex? It should be rather obvious that the shirts aren't an attempt to buy back his friendship, which Lex knows perfectly well has never worked before, but a pretext for a public declaration of love, and it is really, really hard not to fall into the TwP recapping style with this particular episode making the speech?), but brilliant tongue-in-cheek barely subtext-y television.

And the scene in the barn. And the scene in the manor. Lex keeping the cubified remains of the Porsche. And Lex coming to watch the football game. I almost forgot how these two, and Lex specifically, can break my heart, and now that I've said 'heartbreak' three times in a one and a quarter paragraph long post, perhaps it would be a good time to shut up...
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Sunny and warm, beautiful day, slightly tainted by the faint melancholy of Sundays. Did this breakfast & movie thing with some people from work, we saw Fatih Akin's Crossing the Bridge, which is a truly amazing, wonderful film about the music of Istanbul and the power and impact of music, regardless of genre - everything from rap to the music of the Roma, Kurdish music, traditional Turkish music... Very powerful; beautiful shots, too.

I think I'll have to check out Gegen die Wand now. And buy the soundtrack, although I really should re-reconsider buying not really necessary stuff in view of the possible computer situation... ::le sigh::


Trying to unclutter notepad. Still. Again. Never ending story rambling. The 10? 12? 20? (can't quite remember) favourite emotional tv moments meme, picked up a long time ago somewhere in the wastes of lj-land.

Jossverse-centric, because that's what I've been watching recently, and while I would love to give a comprehensive and conclusive review of [ profile] solitary_summer's most favourite tv moments evar, re-watching five season of B5 (or any other tv show I was ever fond of) just isn't happening at the moment. And really, I don't want to consider what it says about my psychic make-up that I even consider this an issue and would this be a good place to confess that I shuffled my interests around quite a bit for the 10 interests meme?

Sorted chronologically and by fandom, not squee factor.

17 (16) favourite emotional tv moments )
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I still need to develop a better resistance to amazon's you save X% offers, but at least I don't entirely regret buying the Smallville dvds, especially S3. OTOH, sadly so little of this show stands the test of a second viewing; I browsed through S2 with the finger on the fast forward button, stopping only (or almost only) for Lex, because while both Lana and Clark are perhaps slightly less annoying than their German dubbed versions, once is still more than enough, as far as their scenes together are concerned. One thing is a constant, though, almost since I started watching SV. I've never seen another tv show that manages to powerfully intrigue and frustrate me so much at the same time.

Wherein I ramble at long, long length, mostly about Lex, because it's Sunday, and raining, and apparently I have no life... )

solitary_summer: (burning tree (© clive barker))

Hu. That must have been one of those quiet weeks, no posts since last Sunday... still not feeling particularly inspired or talkative.

Drama at work, although not work-related. M's brother-in-law died last Sunday, leaving M. distraught, worried about her sister and breaking into tears all the time. I try to be supportive, but what can one say, except that there's no point in or reason for feeling guilty, or offer distraction, if that's what she wants.

I sold exactly one copy of the German translation of HP6 today. One.

Had Wednesday off again for a (very pleasant) change; shopping trip to H&M, which resulted in a light green corduroy autumn coat, much needed, a long, flowing, moss-green skirt, less needed, but very pretty, and two blouses, semi-necessary. Next week, jeans. ::groans::

Felt ridiculously pretty and bouncy walking to work on Thursday, despite the rain, in new coat, ankle length chocolate brown skirt and almost-new black Doc Martens. Yes, well, I have these girly moments, too, occasionally.

Managed three morning runs this week, and when did it turn autumn so fast? Crushed horse-chestnuts on the streets and the smell of damp leaves. It's cold in the morning, and dark when I crawl out of bed, but that also means I'm catching the sunrises again... I love these elusive moments, especially in autumn, when every day offers a different view; today was wonderful, an intense orange sunrise, light slanting through the trees, the dark, slightly faded autumn green suffused with sunlight, gilding the edges; the world a green and gold painting for half an hour.

On a fanish note, I've been watching S3 Smallville, the last third or so of which I hadn't actually seen before & will probably ramble & complain at length about once I'll have finished the season. Although I've to say... listening to John Glover's commentary on Truth -- he's got an amazing voice. I never really noticed it before, maybe because his voice is different in character, or maybe because I find Lionel Luthor such a creepy character (the man can turn a simple caress into either a threat, or an obscenity, or both...) that terms like 'hot' or any equivalent thereof just never came to mind. But, out of character... Damn.

ETA: Speaking of which, I simply adore Neil Tennant's singing voice.

solitary_summer: (masquerade (© clive barker))

# It's frustrating that when you snap a couple of pictures on your way home from work they actually turn out to be -- probably not good on any standards, but satisfactory to me, because I think I managed to capture a certain mood, or view --, but when you specifically set out to take photos, half of them are delete-worthy, and the rest is meh-ish at best.

# While I was alternatively cursing amazon's cheap offers and my own lack of resistance and generally questioning my sanity past and present throughout S2, the first two episodes of Smallville S3 made me remember why I actually used to like the show, at least occasionally, and why I had this brief almost-crush on Michael Rosenbaum.

# M. will be back from holiday next week & I'm kind of in two minds about that. I like her, but it gets harder every time to step back again, when you see that you could actually do this just as well. I really liked having a challenge and responsibility for once.

# My eye-lids are itching. Why?
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My attention span is all but non-existent these days. Pathetic.

During my one and a half week holiday I read... )

During the three weeks since I'm back I made my slow, slow way through The Wine-Dark Sea, half of The Commodore and the greater part of H.Heer's Vom Verschwinden der Täter, the last of which I read mostly at work.

Am now fiftysomething pages into Susanna Clarke's Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, which I like so far, although after seventeen volumes of O'Brian I'm fairly yearning for something more modern than the Napoleonic age...

A.Oz's Eine Geschichte von Liebe und Finsternis is still lying around untouched, although I found the first few pages intriguing. Same with Yann Martel's Schiffbruch mit Tiger. And so on, and so on.

I just can't seem to focus at all, most of the time.

Instead, too much tv watchage, and is that even a word? )

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The cat and I will definitely have to work on our relationship... Yesterday night she jumped me in best Hobbes-style when I came home, vehemently insisted on coming inside, and after a while fell asleep beneath my desk. Then we went through the same spiel again; I put her outside, but was already too wide awake & spent the next one and a half hours or so reading before there was any possibility of going back to sleep.

So I'm finally up at almost 11, a good part of the day gone; with half a headache and feeling anything but rested.

It wouldn't be so bad, but there's my father's birthday, and family dinner, and I only came home just before midnight yesterday after making yet another cake (Apfelschnitte)...

Damn autumn birthdays. One cake per weekend, it seems...

Andromeda: Harper/Delete )

Smallville: Slumber )

Greek lawyers are going to sue, because Oliver Stone portrayed Alexander as bisexual? Oh please. I honestly can't imagine there's a court that wouldn't laugh in their collective face. The man's been dead for 2300something years, as likely as not was bisexual, though neither can be conclusively proved... In whose name are they going to sue, anyway? I'm aware this ties into the whole modern political conflict about Northern Greece/Macedonia, but from a historical point of view this embracing of Alexander while at the same time celebrating ancient Greece as the birthplace of democracy and whatnot is something of a tour de force and really rather ridiculous, because (regardless of whether or not Alexander spoke Greek), um, Chaironeia? Thebes? Antipatros, Demetrios Poliorketes, Greece occupied by Macedonian garrisons? de facto end of Greek democracy and end of the independence and political importance of the Greek city states? That's Alexander, too. A Macedonian king on the Achaemenid throne to whom the squabbles of the Greek city-states would have been a very minor problem, and probably of equally little interest, had he lived longer.

On second thoughts, by all means, go ahead. It might be fun to see a bunch of homophobic asshats without even a smattering of historical knowledge make fools of themselves in public.

[ETA: On the other hand... when I said I dreaded Alexcander becoming a fandom? This is what I meant. Gah. Fangirls with slash-coloured googles, as little historical knowledge as abovementioned lawyers and no concept of cultural differences. ::headdesk::]
solitary_summer: (cat (© clive barker))

[Damn. The cat apparently has adopted me. Willnotbuycatfoodwillnotbuycatfood...]

Slept in, read, wrote a little, soaked in the tub, made a birthday cake for M. (chocolate, almonds & nuts from the new Jamie Oliver cookbook, hopefully edible) and watched two weeks' worth of taped tv shows in between.

Andromeda, never the best show to begin with, has obviously deteriorated to new depths. I missed the first episode of S4, but the next two were atrocious. I'd heard it was bad, but this... gah. With Tyr/KHC gone as Dylan's nemesis, friend, foil and dark mirror image, all the life, interest and tension, psychology and philosophy, not to mention the greatest part of the acting talent and eye candy are gone and what's left is flat, trite and boring. The rest of the cast fumble their way through a bad script and worse dialogue in a decidedly half-assed way that makes it impossible to maintain any interest in the characters left. Pieces of Eight I could still amuse myself imagining that Dylan must miss Tyr at least as much as I did - he seemed terribly alone at times. There's an early episode of Angel, just after Doyle died and Wesley turned up, when Cordelia & Wesley start to bicker and Angel tells them to shut up, calling Wesley Doyle, followed by a moment of painful silence. I could just picture this, Dylan out of habit calling for Tyr to cover his ass on whatever semi-suicidal mission they're up to, and the long moment of awkward silence... Waking the Tyrant's Device I was merely watching with a detached sense of WTF, mostly trying to decide whether to put a chocolate glazing on the cake, and if yes, what kind.

Smallville was rather more interesting - no, scratch that, after Andromeda it was positively brilliant; Exile and Phoenix were intriguing enough and full of the ethical ambiguities and grey shades Andromeda apparently has decided to give up; evil!Clark is pretty, even though Tom Welling is not really my type. Lex at once harder and more rawly emotional, very inscrutable (I rather doubt all the filial affection is genuine, just because this once it wasn't his father who tried to kill him) and just slightly crazy (telling Helen to go ahead and shoot him); Clark slightly more grown up and responsible, finally thrown off his moral high horse, less ready to simply blame everything on the red kryptonite. For the first time ever in this show Lex and Clark share a moment of complete understanding. Interesting, too, to compare the three hugs in this episode.

John Glover and Rutger Hauer apparently were having a great time, not to mention a hell of chemistry. Are there still awards for the gayest look of the episode? Because if yes, it goes to them.

Extinction is mostly back to boring, with a dash of X-Men (mutants - good or evil?) and what may or may not be a veiled metaphor for homosexuality running through the episode.

[Cat is still here, asleep on the sofa. I don't want to throw her out, the weather is disgusting, but do I let her stay overnight? What if she wants out in the middle of the night, and obviously I don't have a litter box...]
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Could Smallville be just a little worse? Not a rhetorical question, I'm merely looking for an excuse to stop watching.

meep )
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Spent an inordinate amount of time baking and decorating four bunny cakes (cake bunnies?) for easter presents, two chocolate-hazelnut ones with chocolate glazing, two a kind of marzipan-vanilla dough. Frustratingly, I don't find the result exactly aesthetically satisfying and certainly not in keeping with the amount of work that went into it, and am left with a vague sense of an afternoon & evening wasted...

Not to mention a rather less-than-vague feeling of guilt for licking all those chocolate covered spoons.

In between cake cooling, glaze drying and dish washing watched a little Stargate, which I seem to be warming to almost against my will, and Smallville ('Calling'), which had a couple semi-good, or at least semi-funny, moments... (But we’re meant to be together. I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life. / ...every book from Socrates [Plato presumably, since Socrates didn't believe in the written word] to Shakespeare... uh-uh. *g*)
And never did a doctor look less doctor-y than this Helen person...
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Nice day, for the greater part.

Blue sky, with heavy white clouds driven across it, strong wind, but warm for the season; everything still almost incongruously bare, buds only just coming out. Faint garlic smell of Bärlauch, a few violets... white trunk of a plane tree against the deep blue of the sky.

The museum itself... the kind of art you feel you should like, but can't, quite. Especially with his work from the 1910s and 20s there's something mannerist, almost too smooth for my taste about the artfully contorted bodies - too artful to really convey pain or any other emotion. In exhibition context it also tends to become a little repetitive... maybe slightly reminiscent of Tamara de Lempicka's paintings.

And yet... Studie zum hl. Sebastian, clearer and less mannerist than most, body suspended in space; Die Erkenntnis, not unoriginal; Ikarus, slightly too... (obvious?), the fall, already touching the waves, but still straining to look up at the sky... but not bad; a Christ on the cross, the face tilted up in agony (towards god?) and invisible to the viewer, interesting.

Some of the portraits are more immediately touching, but portraits, if I've no connection to the subject, generally don't interest me much.

A cast of Hanak's pietà in the garden, and I'm struck again with the curious composition... the way she displays the body, barely touching it at all, as if ready to cast it off, almost suggesting she doesn't want to have anything to do with... what? this male world of killing and torturing and dying for causes??

[Watched Smallville, Accelerate, not bad and really quite creepy. Then again, I'm easily creeped out by small children, dolls that come alive & such. There's another thing about Smallville besides the doomed-from-the-start gay subtext that gets at me every time, and that's Lex's relationship with his father. That family friendly US mainstream TV would come up with a father son relationship lifted straight from ancient greek tragedy is almost more... subversive is maybe too strong a word, but I can't think of any better, than the tongue-in-cheek queerness. The way Lex reacts to the most casual touches, the visible stiffening, the pointed looks... Watching almost hurts, because it's too close to the feelings I experience sometimes, when all those twisted issues and suppressed anger make me hate it when my father (who obviously isn't the evil Luthor type) touches me at all, a hand on the shoulder is enough to almost make me flich, wanting to scream at him. I know it's unkind, because he loves me in his way and doesn't want to hurt me, but I can't help it sometimes. I can't be forgiving.

Anyway. Smallville (or Andromeda, for the matter)... Is there such a thing like subtextual complexity? Catering to the Clark/Lana teenage fan crowd on the surface and slipping in all those psychological issues and complex themes of power (ab)use, conscience, love, obsession, the relativity of good and evil... *shakes head* B5 is a complex story with complex characters and when I see complexity I can be reasonably certain that MJS intended for it to be there. With Smallville, or, again, Andromeda, I am never sure what has been intentionally put there, perhaps by writers/producers/actors frustrated with the mediocrity of it, what is there simply because human life is complex, however much you try to ignore it, and what is merely my imagination and need to complicate and dissect everything. It's frustrating to someone as over-analytical as I am.]

Feeling drained now, a little nauseous... )
solitary_summer: (abarat.night)

A dozen books begun or partially read, but lacking the focus or interest to finish them; rambling drafts for lj entries I can't bring myself to complete either... wrote down some sketchy thoughts about religion, violence and Mel Gibson's Christ movie today, but am not sure I'll still be sufficiently interested or satisfied to edit & post them tomorrow...

On a brighter note, I might have a new obsession... mangoes. I never used to like them, but suddenly I do. And here am I, complaining that nothing ever changes in my life. ::snerk @ self::

In other news... What with three seasons of B5 to watch and the resulting frustration with the mediocrity of most other tv shows, I missed a good part of Smallville's S2, but since I was bored, apathetic and in the vicinity of a tv today I watched 'Visitor' and, wow, things are certainly going bad very fast. For how long has Lex been walking the fine line between sanity and madness? There's a barely disguised hard edge in his probing when he talks to Clark ("Come on, Clark, if you were really an alien would you go around telling people about it?") and his Bluebeard's room... very creepy. The mere fact that he's willing to show this to Helen, and the look on his face when he does...

No-one tell me the gay subtext isn't intentional, though. He certainly doesn't need a blown-up beyond life-size pretty pouty picture to figure out whether Clark's an alien or not.

Smallville is often bad and more often mediocre, but there's a cruel irony in the fact that what at the beginning of S1 Lex believed to be his chance for redemption is now driving him into insanity. Too many chances passed by and bridges burned since... This show is just too sad, though of course the impending tragedy has always been part of the attraction, at least for me. After all we knew it was all going to hell, it was just a matter of when, why and how.

I guess I will have to try now to catch the earlier s2 episodes on ORF...


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March 2013

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