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Been feeling like crap physically & mentally the whole week. Tired all the time. I don't know if I'm coming down with something, if it's just a really bad period on top of already feeling depressed and whatnot, but... gah. Ready to strangle people at work. Or would be, if I had the energy. No, we don't gift-wrap. No, I don't have ribbons, bows and cellophane paper. Shut up. Get the fuck out and leave me in peace.

Picked up the book with Chekhov plays I bought a longish while ago and sat on the unread pile ever since, but reading about depressed Russian people on their estates in the county, or in some small town, talking about their wasted and futile lives and lost dreams wasn't very helpful. ... und nichts, nichts, nicht die geringste Befriedigung, und die Zeit vergeht, und immer ist das Gefühl da, du entfernst dich von dem wahren, schönen Leben, du entfernst dich immer weiter und weiter auf einen Abgrund zu. Ich bin verzweifelt, und wie ich noch lebe, wie ich mich noch nicht umgebracht habe, das weiß ich nicht...


Finished the Chekhov and started reading the ETA version of RTD's book.


Went out with G. last week for a bit after work & after three spritzers switched to soda water, because anything more I'll regret for a good part of the next day if I have to work, and also a tiny packet of bacon flavoured chips thingies that didn't actually contain any potatoes, and the expiration date was my birthday. Ominous.


Watched the pilot & first two episodes of Caprica & am mostly unimpressed, or maybe more precisely disinterested. OTOH, It's a story, and I can't drop stories, I need to know how they end. Or in this case, begin. No matter how much they frustrate me. Even if it's once again about the one true god and his plans. But maybe the religious mythology will become a bit clearer with this show, because I still haven't managed to figure out if there is a level of criticism inherent in the fact that we're watching this show coming from a millennia long tradition of monotheism, and (for the most part, I guess I ought to add) have realised that it isn't and has never been the magical fix-all and perfect moral compass in a decadent world that it's made out to be by some characters in the show.

The ironic thing is, I watched the original DVD released pilot, and what made me sit up during the virtual club scenes in the beginning was the topless women. Forget human sacrifice or shooting people for entertainment. And those are the scenes that apparently had to be reshot for the TV release. Never mind the throat slitting and stabbing in ep.1. It's a strange world.


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March 2013

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