They weren't really anymore of a 'couple' in COE than they were in previous episodes and in some ways they were even less of one
You're far from the only one saying this, so maybe it's me who is getting things wrong, but it wasn't like that for me. Mainly because what with all the issues that come up with Jack's immortality, I always thought they needed to actually talk a bit about it, like they finally did in CoE, before you could call it a relationship. And the Captain's Blog doesn't count as canon, as far as I'm concerned.
and it's not as if COE was the first time Ianto had had to interact with people outside of Torchwood either.
No, but the first time his relationship with Jack, and thereby his sexuality, came up in that context. There was Captain Hart, but he was Jack's ex, so sexual orientation wasn't an issue. Martha was Torchwood, more or less, or at least she knew Jack. We never even saw Ianto's family (or any of his friends - did he have any?) before CoE. And once they brought his family into it, there was bound to be that discussion, at least briefly, unless Ianto's relationship with Jack was never mentioned at all, which would have been problematic for other reasons. The dance in Something Borrowed aside, they never acted like a couple outside of Torchwood, there wasn't even anything in their body language that would have suggested to the random observer that they were together.
That was a deliberate choice the writers made for whatever reason and since that decision to define him as "the gay character" and not much else also coincides with his inevitable doom it's probably not that surprising that a few eyebrows were raised.
I'd argue with the 'and not much else' part, but you're right about it being a deliberate choice. IMO it might have been about showing him acknowledging his sexual identity, rather than just killing him off in the closet, so to speak.
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You're far from the only one saying this, so maybe it's me who is getting things wrong, but it wasn't like that for me. Mainly because what with all the issues that come up with Jack's immortality, I always thought they needed to actually talk a bit about it, like they finally did in CoE, before you could call it a relationship. And the Captain's Blog doesn't count as canon, as far as I'm concerned.
and it's not as if COE was the first time Ianto had had to interact with people outside of Torchwood either.
No, but the first time his relationship with Jack, and thereby his sexuality, came up in that context. There was Captain Hart, but he was Jack's ex, so sexual orientation wasn't an issue. Martha was Torchwood, more or less, or at least she knew Jack. We never even saw Ianto's family (or any of his friends - did he have any?) before CoE. And once they brought his family into it, there was bound to be that discussion, at least briefly, unless Ianto's relationship with Jack was never mentioned at all, which would have been problematic for other reasons. The dance in Something Borrowed aside, they never acted like a couple outside of Torchwood, there wasn't even anything in their body language that would have suggested to the random observer that they were together.
That was a deliberate choice the writers made for whatever reason and since that decision to define him as "the gay character" and not much else also coincides with his inevitable doom it's probably not that surprising that a few eyebrows were raised.
I'd argue with the 'and not much else' part, but you're right about it being a deliberate choice. IMO it might have been about showing him acknowledging his sexual identity, rather than just killing him off in the closet, so to speak.