Haha tell me about it. I wrote many a Meta (a lot about the Homophobia thing, because I was really pissed that fandom was trying to reduce Ianto's arc and character that way) about CoE which you can (I'm self-reccing here, oh the narcissism!) read if you like under my own Torchwood tag.

But you I feel you really hit the nail on the head here regarding the Tragic Epic thing and the ethical story being told here. I'd never considered Ianot's position as it related to Jack as being absolutist, but if you look at Ianto's character over the three seasons (especially as you framed it here) it makes so much sense!