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*sigh* Business as usual. I should be doing a lot of things, but end up paralysed, procrastinating a lot, and constantly feeling guilty, guilty, guilty. At least made it through another 40 pages of my Excel book today. Still haven't done any Russian homework, though, and I really should be studying more intensively to prepare myself for the two weeks in July... On a more self-indulgent note, there are a couple of things I'd like to write, but rewatching anything is pretty much out of the question right now, and my mind is so tied up in the struggle between avoidance mode, guilt, and panicked should-do-that-s that I'm completely incapable of focusing on anything. Pathetic, I know.

Anyway. A few pictures from yesterday's walk that started in Hütteldorf and ended up in Mauer six hours later, because to complicate things even further, my body is apparently conspiring with the avoidant part of my brain and keeps insisting it wants to spend a lot of time outside & moving... Partly it was a bit meh, but the evening was just lovely; the first two photos give a bit of an impression, but obviously there's no way to really convey the mood of it all, coming out of the darkness of the forest into the meadow, walking up the hill into the light of the evening sun low over the trees, the smell of earth and mown grass, all the scents stronger towards evening; the stillness, peace and momentary solitude, until you reach the top of the hill and see a couple with their two dogs and realise you're not quite aone after all...

In a way I'm dissatisfied with my photos, because they're always too... smoothly, and I'm almost tempted to say, superficially, beautiful. I'd like to do something a bit... rawer, I guess, more realistic, with more life in it, but I just don't know how. In the end that's probably not me, I suppose. The problem is my life, not my photography. Still, though, I wish I could just do a little better. Maybe I should take a class to really study the technical aspects; perhaps that would help. But see above—really no time right now.





Read more... )
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From yesterday's walk that started in Sievering and ended some five hours later in Pötzleinsdorf, via Sophienalpe & Rieglerhütte & a lot of detours. (Which obviously is of absolutely no interest whatsoever to anyone, but just for personal reference.) Warm and sunny, but windy, and so much greener than two weeks ago. (Not very photogenic, though. All the bright green is nice, but makes for boring photos.) Although now the Bärlauch is flowering; it doesn't really come out in the first picture because of the strong light/shadow contrast, but the entire slope was covered in white.

I'm a bit torn between wanting to go out & wanting to stay in today, but really, I think I'll just curl up in bed with a book & be generally lazy now. So tired. Further activity can wait until tomorrow.




+ a few more... )
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From today's walk from Neuwaldegg up to the Sophienalpe, after which I kind of lost direction and found myself in Klosterneuburg three hours later already in the pitch dark. Sunny and warm (probably too warm for the season, but still very pleasant), and really beautiful especially in the evening with the sun shining low through the trees, except that I kind of managed to forget that there's still snow outside Vienna at least up on the hills. Lots of graceless sliding and slipping and clinging to trees and falling on my ass, especially downhill. My jeans are dirty up to my knees & beyond, and my poor Doc Martens weren't really up to all the wet snow, mud and water and will probably need days to dry.





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From today's afternoon walk up the Kahlenberg. It was sunny and unseasonably warm (as in, just a t-shirt under the parka warm); part of me insists I should probably angst about global warming, but I really enjoyed it. It's supposed to snow again by the middle of the week anyway.






+2 )
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# Was hit by a car door on my way home. That thing when people say they don't know what hit them? That was it. I had absolutely no idea what happened until I picked myself and the bike up and the driver started apologising. I'm fine, though. I'll probably have quite a bruise on my left thigh, my left wrist hurts a bit, and the bike's front light broke clean off, but I got € 50.- for the repair. The kind of stupid thing is that this happened when I made a detour to a supermarket that has an offer for bio-yoghurts (buy two, get two for free). Somewhere there's a moral in there. Or, then again, maybe not.

# My sister wants to watch the new HP movie, but I already turned down R. I was so utterly disappointed—disgusted, actually—with the last one that I don't want to risk having my favourite HP book spoiled by a mediocre (at best) movie and actors I never identified with the characters at all. I guess if the critics are extremely good I might give it a chance, but otherwise... meh.

# A few more photos from last weekend...





+3 )


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Another couple of pictures from yesterday's walk...





+2 )



In other not-so-news, life continues uneventful. Friday and Saturday I had a Photoshop course because I decided I needed to start improving my computer skills so that I can at least put something in my resume, but since I decided that sometime mid-autumn, this was pretty much the only thing I could still take time off for, and I thought I might as well start with something that at least interests me, even if it might not be the most useful thing in the long run. I really enjoyed learning something new, though; I hadn't really realised how much I'd missed that. Also, the certificate is apparently enough to be able to buy the Student and Teacher Photoshop Edition, so there's that.

Speaking of learning, Russian continues frustratingly slow. I do actually notice a progress in reading,—I bought a Russian/German version of a couple of Chekhov's short stories recently, and for the most part I could stay on the Russian side. Writing also gets easier. Talking, though... my brain simply doesn't process all that grammar fast enough. It's depressing.



I'm sort of watching Girl with a Pearl Earring on TV while I'm typing, and while I can't say it's very interesting so far, it's certainly visually stunning, like the paintings come alive...

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Autumn colours....




+2 )



From yesterday's walk from Neuwaldegg via the Sophienalpe and Mostalm to Mauerbach (and about half way back to Hütteldorf). Sadly it started to steadily drizzle after an hour or so and I had to put away the camera, but it was quiet and peaceful, which made for a nice change. Most of the time I feel like I'm living in a flat I don't feel at home in, a body I don't feel at home in, and generally speaking a life I don't feel at home in.

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Autumn. From last Sunday, when I was still allowed outside, walking from Neuwaldegg to Hütteldorf.

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Another picture from yesterday's (very peaceful and relaxing, not counting the wild pigs that tend to freak me out a bit, for which I totally blame all those fatal boar hunts in Greek mythology) evening walk in the Lainzer Tiergarten...






Had my hair cut today, as in, it's now shorter than it's been in some 36 years or so, as in, I'll have to remember using sunscreen on the back of my neck now for the first time in my life; diagonal fringe, very short everywhere else. I'm so pleased with it I actually tried to take a picture, but I looked completely psychotic on each and everyone of them.


Also rewatched CoE over the last weekend, and what really struck me once again, especially now that I deliberately shifted the focus away from the relationship angle, is the sheer (I still don't have a better word for it) Greek tragedy quality of Day Five especially. They all doom themselves. Jack of course, Ianto, who insists on doing the right thing, Alice, who worried about the state of the world when 90% just look away, Frobisher, who in the beginning was vain enough to be proud that he was being trusted with all this. And then in the end there are the three unlikely heroes who saved the world, Jack, who did something terrible trying to make amends for something worse, Johnson, who believed she was protecting the state by murdering people, and Dekker, the evil spirit in the background who always survived by standing back. Day Four I can deal with, but Day Five... it's still almost impossible to adequately put it into words.
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+1 )


Actually did manage to go take that walk; from Nussdorf up the Kahlenberg and Leopoldsberg and down to Klosterneuburg; nothing exciting but rather nice, and at least I got to stretch my legs a bit. Russian vocabulary on my iPod on the underground & train, so there's that, too.

Lazy evening, reading (interrupted by Ch. on the phone with the biweekly horse update and half an hour of other stuff mostly related to her flute playing that I couldn't care less about, but she's one of the people who'll just talk at you and never stop), answering comments and watching TV with half an eye; bits of Apocalypto, I'm ashamed to say, but while Mel Gibson has become one of the people who make me avoid whatever he produces on principle, and, yes, it's the racist piece of crap everyone said it was, holy shit, the costumes. And then I channel surfed into Kama Sutra, and the first person I see is Suzie from Torchwood. Apparently there's really no getting away from it.


23:02, 11 hours until it's back to work, but sitting here with a glass of red wine, listening to JB, who sometimes really does make everything a little better & generally feeling rather mellow, for once I have to say it actually turned out to be a much better day than it looked like this morning.


(Also, um, new people? I'm not usually this inanely spammy. Really.)

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Just to prove that I'm actually doing non-TW related things, this is from a walk in the Lainzer Tiergarten that I took Sunday afternoon. It was a lovely clear day (the view across Vienna is rarely this good), and thoroughly enjoyable - a three hour walk and then lying on a picnic bench, soaking up the evening sun...

Saw a few wild (actually more like semi-wild) pigs (a sow looking sceptically at me across the clearing for a minute before she shooed the piglets back into the safety of the wood), a small deer that totally obliviously walked on the path before me for a while before finally fading into the wood, and more dragonflies than I've ever seen in my life - the air was full of them; it must be the wet weather we've been having this summer.

And all right, I had a notebook with me, and some TW-related scribbling might have happened. Er.


Also, my bike apparently hasn't a flat tyre as such, someone thought it was funny to let the air out. I guess I should thank them for not actually using a knife, but who does something like that?

In other not-news, work continues to be mind-numbing and exhausting. *sigh*

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Picture from Sunday....





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The last few pictures I posted were all from the abandoned stands of the harness racing track Krieau - which is actually still in use, but they've modernised only one of the three stands; another is used as an open air cinema in summer and in a not too bad state, the third one is completely closed off (or supposed to be, since you actually can get in, even if you probably shouldn't) and left to decay at least since 1986, judging from the newspaper page I found there. I have to admit I only became aware of that when the pictures from a flickr meet-up I couldn't go to turned up on my contacts-page, but I've been there twice since, and will probably go again. It's an absolutely fascinating place to take pictures in, and in the afternoon the light is simply wonderful, especially now that it isn't blocked by trees. There are more pictures from both visits on my flickr account if anyone is interested.




+4 )


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Another picture, since I'm still feeling completely inarticulate... To think that about this time last year I was already starting to write TW episode reviews and meta like... well, like the obsessed fangirl that I was. Maybe this will be a more photo-intense year again for a change.

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