Jun. 7th, 2012

solitary_summer: (Default)
Hu. I didn't even realise my last update was almost three weeks ago, mostly because I do write, or more precisely start writing entries, but always seem to lose interest before I finish them...


# I'm not throwing away anything again, ever. )

In conclusion, an iMac that is working again and a hugely relieved [livejournal.com profile] solitary_summer, who will never be able to part with anything again in her life, because it might come in useful eventually.


# Minor irritation (hopefully) out of the way, what I'm really struggling with at the moment is that I'll have to find another job in the foreseeable future. Anyone following this journal for any length of time will be bored into a coma familiar with my yearly recurring job crises, but this time it's not me, it's the circumstances, and I really will have to start looking. But looking for what? )

I guess I'll eventually wind up with some sort of office job, because I simply don't know what else I could realistically do.

And the worst thing is, this is a decision that I should have made twenty-two years ago, but am still incapable and apparently not grown-up enough to make now. I suck at life.


# The meta that I don't have time to write, damn it (note to self! job! imortant! focus!), is also driving me crazy. Not just that, it makes me feel stupid, and I really hate that. I thought I'd finally hit upon a structure of a sort, but apparently that was only a first step that helped me sort out my thoughts a bit. The second draft probably won't fare much better. I keep dropping threads, I'm constantly losing sight of the point, and mainly I keep going on the vague, but probably mis-placed suspicion/hope that there is one and it will all come together in the end.


# Last Sunday it crossed my mind that my hiking tours were more fun when they were just walks with a camera, without any pressure. But I decided that this year I'd be pushing myself to regain some sort of basic fitness (that is, at least be able to hike up your average 2.000m mountain in Salzburg with moderate ease), so the camera stays in the rucksack because I don't want to stop all the time, and the whole thing has become a bit stressful. I guess maybe I should just take it slower... )


# On that note, today is a holiday, but I'm staying at home for once. I'm not even feeling very guilty; I'm just so tired, the last days I woke up more exhausted than I'd gone to bed...

 

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